A Birthday Gift

My mom and dad came to visit Nathan for his birthday. They brought him a gift that he could open and a gift that I don't think he realized was a gift.
His Great-grandpa came with them. And he brought his harmonica.We all had a little laugh about that.
Grandpa always finds an opportunity to play for whomever he can find.My kids loved it.
Great-grandpa loved it.
Annika is still talking about when she can get her first real harmonica.
I think the real gift is being able to appreciate family.
I am so blessed to still have all four of my grandparents. (Got some good genes there).

Nathan really enjoyed the gift he opened though. I have no idea how I have not gotten a picture of it yet because I believe that it was surgically attached to his hand as soon as he got it out of the package.
It was a nerf gun. And he loves it. It has been confiscated more than once for my other children's protection.
We are currently working on getting him to focus on target practice right now.
But it is so fun to shoot it at people.
I got Adrienne the other day when she was trying to sneak up on me.
And it was really fun.
Then she took it away.
Darn.
Guess I should be a better example.

Thankful

We had a great weekend spending the holiday with Burke's extended family. The kids played with their cousins, the adults ate (and ate), and Burke got to go shooting with his brothers and their boys.
I got to go shopping.
What more do you need?
I am so thankful that we have family who can gather together and enjoy a nice meal.
I am thankful that my kids love to play with their cousins.
I am thankful that we are all healthy this year.
I am thankful that we could still talk about Grandpa and how much we miss him.
I am thankful that I have a great family of my own.
I am thankful that my boys held the door open for me and my girls on Sunday.
I am thankful that my husband hung all my Christmas lights.

I am thankful that my driveway gets shoveled when it snows...
Lest Grandma see this photo and think poorly of my mothering skills, I claim ignorance. This was Daddy's little helper who was supposed to be in bed, and sneaked out to help daddy shovel the driveway. And no, I didn't take this picture, but I did laugh really hard when she came in with freezing little feet.
I am thankful for my children who keep things interesting and for a husband who makes a 4 year old get out of bed and want to be with him in bare feet on a cold snowy night.

First Daze of School

We have officially started school. It is always an exciting adventure to begin another school year. New teachers, new friends, new experiences.... I love it.

This is a picture of them waiting at the bus stop with the other neighborhood kids. So cute.
It was a very special, very pivotal day for Adrienne as well.
Adrienne to began the adventure of preschool....

Of course, no little girl is really ready for preschool unless she has a pretty princess backpack, picked out all by herself!

She put it on first thing in the morning and wore it until I dropped her off. She even brought it to exercise to show her special friend there, Fred. Unfortunately, Fred wasn't there, so I had to reassure her that we can take it back next "preschool day" to give him the opportunity to see her beautiful princess backpack.

This is her trying to hang up her giant backpack on the peg way over her head.
Maybe I was a little bit photo-happy.
She had a little friend from her dance class who happened to be in her preschool class as well. She was very happy to see someone else she knew.

It was definitely a strange sensation to know I was in the house alone. Alone in a way I haven't been for 10 years.
A little bit liberating, a little bit lonely. I am sad that my babies are all gone, but I am excited for the new stage we are entering as a family.
I haven't gone anywhere with a diaper bag for nearly a year. I don't have any bottles, and my sippy cup supply is dwindling. I just gave a bag of baby clothes and shoes away, and when I go out, I generally know where all the public restrooms are within a 100 yard radius.
It is fun to be able to joke around with my older kids, and have them joke back. It is fun to be able to have a thoughtful conversation during scripture reading and answer thoughtful questions with equally thougtful answers.
My babies are gone, but I am happy with the children I have found myself suddenly surrounded with.
It is an amazing, joyful, sorrowful, worrisome, exhilarating, exciting, and educational experience to be their mother.
Adrienne's preschool teacher sent a sweet poem about shedding tears on the first day of school, but that is not me. I side with a missionary mother in my ward who told me she has sent three missionaries out, but never cried at the MTC. When I asked her how she kept her emotions under control, she told me she didn't feel sad, just really excited for her children and for the knowledge, experiences, and growth they would see during their missions.

I believe that is pure mother's love. Always loving the stage that has passed, and joyfully entering the next.

Memories

All we have are memories...for now.

Burke's dad passed away early Friday morning.
He is no longer suffering.
But we miss him.

The last few days have been a mix of emotions. There have been tears of sorrow, and tears of laughter as each of his children, their spouses and some grandchildren have shared stories about him.

Today Annika said that she still felt sad about Grandpa. Burke told her it would probably take a while before she would feel better.
She immediately burst into tears and said that she knew it would take a very long time because, "He has been my grandpa for years!"

Dads

My van waited until I pulled into the garage...then it completely shut off.
What are the chances that it made it until I got home? That's the big guy looking out for me there.
Alternator.
Bummer.
My dear sweet husband spent the evening fixing it, and didn't get to bed until 11:30 PM, even though he has to get up at 5:30 AM to go to work.
Before the kids had to go to bed, Kade spent some time in the garage hanging out with his dad. I am so grateful for a husband who is able and willing to explain to him what an alternator is, and what it does.
Then I thought about the man who taught my husband what an alternator is and what is does, and how to change an old one and make a car "go" again.
He taught my husband how to fix stuff, how to work hard, how to be an honorable priesthood holder, how to save money, and how to be a good father.
He is a dad, a grandpa, a brother, and a husband. He is also very sick. We are going to lose him.
We love him so much and ask for prayers on his and his wife's behalf.

The Silver Lining

I have a really amazing friend who has been going through a living hell for the past 9 months. On her blog, she has started making a list of just a few simple things that she is grateful for, to help keep her focused on what she has been blessed with.
I think it is a great idea, and probably something I need to do myself right now. I am under a tremendous amount of stress, and all I can do is wait for the other shoe to drop... probably in the next two weeks. I am not patient, so I need to spend my time thinking about the positive. Not my strong point, but here goes:
A few simple things to be grateful for:
children who know how to read, children who will read to each other, a husband who had a wonderful spiritual experience and wanted me to take part in it, breathing without wheezing, counselors who support me, a mom who listens to panicked phone calls and gives good advice, daughters who love to dress up, being able to buy food without worrying about money, three cars that run, Pinching Your Pennies, hair blogs, good instincts, newspapers, green grass that is growing where it should be, the ability to go to the temple whenever I want, a college degree that I can always fall back on, summer.

Taking a Break

I have been more than a little stressed this past week, and finally took an opportunity to step back and relax for a little while tonight.
As I was pondering, I thought about all the things I have to be grateful for:

My mom, who is always good for a pep-talk

My husband, who works so hard and is supportive and non-complaining when I called him at work twice today just to hear his voice and ask a question about Primary

My husband's job-- you know, the one he still has

The opportunity I had to be able to be the one to give Annika a hug as she walked in the door from school crying because a boy on the bus called her a big fat tiger (go figure)

The fact that my kids asked me what day care is

Storytime at the library

An awesome school teacher who keeps me informed on the things that matter

A daughter who would sneak off to go read a book to her baby sister when she should be doing her homework

Slurpees

Butterfly kisses from a three-year-old

A Father in Heaven who loves me and has a sense of humor.

All of this...just today.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

A Good Day

Nathan came home from school in such a sweet, upbeat mood today. It was nice to see him so happy. He isn't always the happiest kid on the block.

When I asked him why he was so happy today, he told me it was because he got to have waffles for breakfast, they served corn dogs for lunch, and he gets to go to computers at school tomorrow. On top of all of that, Friday is the end of quarter party, and gets to go because he didn't get into trouble more than 10 times. (For him, quite an accomplishment). He is really excited because he can bring his DS and play it with the other kids. In addition to all of this, he took a test and got a perfect score, and got to go to scouts this afternoon.

If my heart can become pure and simple, like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this. -- Kitaro Nishida

The Kindness of Strangers

I was grocery shopping this morning with my sidekick. I had to go to two stores to get the things I needed. (I came away with some really great deals too, if I may pat myself on the back).
Anyway, I told Adrienne she could get a treat if she stayed next to me the whole time we were shopping. At the end of the trip she chose a bag of Goldfish for her treat.
We went to the checkout and I focused on the coupons, making sure Adrienne was still with me, and watching to make sure prices rang up correctly. (No, I am actually terrible at multi-tasking, as you will soon see).
I handed over the coupons, paid, checked the reciept, and was making my way out of the store when the checker called out to me and asked if the bag of Goldfish crackers still on the conveyer belt was ours. Unfortunately, it was Adrienne's treat and I forgot to have her put it on the counter as I unloaded the rest of my groceries so I could pay for it. I wasn't about to wait in line for a $1 bag of crackers after I just bought a cart full of groceries. Plus, I had just used the last of my cash to buy stamps.
I told the checker to keep it, and of course, when Adrienne heard this, she was distraught. I tried to hurry her out of the store while pushing my heavy cart with the one stupid wheel that doesn't work (why do I always get that one?).
The sweet checker ran the bag over to me and gave it to Adrienne. When I told her we hadn't paid for it, she pointed to the man standing in line behind me and said that he did.
I thanked him profusely. So grateful that he would be so thoughtful to a stranger and her little girl.

Forever

Last Friday, we took the kids here:

It was beautiful. They loved being able to go inside and see what it looked like. Annika's favorite thing to see was the baptismal font. Everyone else liked the Celestial Room.

My favorite thing was the sealing room. I loved being able to look in the mirrors and see the altar. It is a very important and special place.

Burke and I were able to go see a couple from our ward sealed together with their children last weekend. What an incredible experience it was. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. This couple have gone through a great many trials since deciding to go through the temple last year. We were so happy to be able to support them in the culmination of their efforts. It was an honor to be there.

I am so grateful for the blessings of a temple marriage in my own family. Life would be so difficult to endure, knowing that once you passed away, you never get to see your loved ones again. I am glad to know that it is at least a possibility.

I am also glad that I "picked a good one" to marry in the temple. I have a good man who works hard to be a good husband and father, and is always trying to do his best in everything else. He is a great example to me and to our children.

Responsibility is Hard

Nathan and Kade both asked Santa for a Nintendo DS for Christmas. Santa informed them they would not be getting one because their mom and dad wanted them to save the money to get one. It was hard to tell them they wouldn't get the only thing they asked for, but it is important to me that they learn how to delay gratification, work hard for what they want, and see how every little bit saved adds up.

A DS costs $129. Nathan and Kade must save up half. Their jobs pay anywhere from 0.25 to $1.00, so it obviously will take quite a while. They were given some money from Santa and Grandma, so that helped a lot.

Finally, last weekend, Nathan was short $3 from the necessary $65. We bartered, bargained, and parlayed, and came up with a great compromise. He gets the rest of the money for shoveling the rest of the driveway.

We went to get the DS. Brought it home. Nathan shoveled. And shoveled. And shoveled. It was cold and dark outside and still he shoveled.

Finally...it was done. Finally, the DS was officially his. He sat down to play it, but didn't have any games.

Saving up some more.

I tried to get him to trade in his old Game Boy, but he wanted to save it for Kade to play while Kade was saving for his DS (he's about $20 short now). Very sweet.

Except on Friday night Nathan got out his Game Boy for a little reunion...The LCD screen was broken.

Nathan was heartbroken. Kade began to cry and apologized profusely. There was this game he was playing...it was really hard...it was really frustrating...and he banged his head against the screen. Broken. Broken. Crying all around.

Kade owned up. I was so proud, but so sad. He would have to make it better. To replace it would cost around $35, and take a huge chunk out of his own saved money.

The compromise was that Kade would buy Nathan a game for his DS instead. We took his money to the store, Nathan picked out his game, and Kade bought it (with some help from mom). He has learned a hard lesson. It is was very hard for me to let him learn it, but I really admire his willingness to take responsibility. I am not sure I could have done the same.
So proud. So hard.

Nurse Mommy

I finished my continuing education in the best of all spirits. 30 hours of CE crammed into a much smaller window of time. But I am now officially re-licensed to practice the fine art of cleaning up body fluids (including the "not so much fluid" fluids), poking people with sharp things, making sure they move when they should, and lie still when they should. I can officially give medication, change wound dressings, educate, and suction various orifices.
I think the most important thing I can officially do, even as a stay at home mommy who will likely not see much nursing action in the next couple of years is to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort".
What an interesting dichotomy my profession is.

Bliss?... Sometimes. Happiness?... Always!

It has been 13 years of ups and downs. What a lot we have learned since the day we made our promises in the temple.... in the middle of one of the worst snowstorms in two years. It did make for some beautiful wedding photos, though.

We were married one year to the day Burke came home from his mission. He told me he wouldn't get married before he had been home a year. Otherwise, who would ever get married in January?

Now 13 years, four children, two states, three university degrees, and 8--yes 8 --moves later, I love him even more.

My latest RS lesson was President Monson's talk: Finding Joy in the Journey. That is what I think we have done all these years. We met when we were 14. We have grown up, grown together, and made a family. I am so grateful for what we have been able to experience, and I am proud of what we have accomplished, and even more proud that we were able to do it by working together.

I love you baby!

Slummin'

I took the kids slummin' for MLK day last week. This is an activity my parents did with myself and my siblings when we lived at home. It basically consists of showing them "where we came from".

I took them to the city where Burke went through school for undergrad. I didn't have terribly happy memories of that time in our lives...

This is where dad totaled our car, our only car. He also ended up in the hospital for a few days to recover from where the airbag deployed into his chest and abdomen.

This is where I used to work graveyard shift while pregnant, with sciatica. (This elicited a comment from Kade: "Oh, yeah. I forgot you were a nurse." Sigh.)

That happens to be the same place where I was in the hospital for a week before being transferred to another bigger hospital for two more because I was so sick.

Oh, the campus building that 2 year old Nathan said was "Daddy's house" (he practically lived there) has been torn down.

Once I got going though, there were some fun memories that came up...

This is where our first apartment was, we brought Nathan home from the hospital to this place... and didn't know what to do once we got him there.

In this apartment, you had to step over the soggy spot in the subfloor to get to the bathroom so that you didn't fall through to the first floor.

This is the window that was the perfect height for a 12 month old Nathan to peek out and watch the neighborhood's comings and goings.

This is the neighborhood that Nathan went trick or treating in for the first time. He was a rabbit, and Burke dressed up in his hunting orange and put parsley in his hat to be a carrot. (First time parent excitement, I doubt I could talk him into that now)

This is the creamery where the best ice cream in the world is served.

This is the other apartment where we lived after completing an intership in Michigan. We rented it sight unseen, and it was sans dishwasher.

It is also where we lived when Burke graduated, and got his first "real" job offer.

Maybe it wasn't so bad after all...

Under the Weather

We have been passing the germs around.
First Adrienne, then Nathan, then Kade.
This past week has been my turn. I finally went to the doctor today and got something that should help me feel much better.
Boy, am I grateful for modern day medicine.

I'm Thankful Anyway!

I am thankful for...

My husband, who actually read Twilight before he took me to the movie last night, and also works hard to let me be a stay at home mom

My children, who keep me humble

My home. While it may not always be clean, it is always welcoming

My parents, who taught me the important stuff

My health

A car that starts

A job that pays the bills

An education to back me up, just in case...

The ability to read anything I want, and also to understand it (something I took for granted before having first-graders)

Friends and family who like me the way I am, social ineptitude and all

The promise of being together forever with my loved ones.

Now, I will try to keep these tremendous blessings in mind as I tell this very sad tale...

My family believes in the sport of Black Friday. Yes, it is a sport in every sense of the word: strategy, quick reflexes, fleetness of foot, etc.
We strategized after Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and came up with our plan. The morning was to begin at Wal-Mart at 3:30 AM. I came home, checked my ads, set my alarm, laid out my clothes, got my coat, keys, and purse out at the ready and went to bed so I would be energized the next morning. I was prepared for the cold, I was prepared for the sleep deprivation, I was prepared for the battle ahead...
Alas, the one contingency I didn't plan on was the one that occurred. The power went out around 2 AM and didn't turn back on until 5:15! I was awoken at 5 by my cell phone ringing in the next room. It was my sister, wondering where I was. I had missed it! It was so sad...kind of like a child missing Christmas morning *sniff*. Burke, the sweet guy he is, was quite sympathetic even though he just doesn't "get" the fun of Black Friday. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and left to go paw over the leftovers. I did get a few things that morning, but ended up having Burke check online for some of the deals I had missed out on. I probably could have saved the hassle and the gas by staying home, because he was able to find just about everything I was looking for.

Although I was very disappointed, I can put it all into perspective. Things are not important, people and relationships are. A friend in our ward lost his father on Sunday. I am so grateful to be able to have all of my family with me this Thanksgiving, even if they are a few states away. I love you all!

A Miraculous Miracle

One of the greatest things about living in Utah is the mountains. I really missed them while we were in Michigan, not just because I never knew which direction I was going, but because they are just beautiful. We went to enjoy General Conference up in the mountains this weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.
Grandma and Grandpa were kind enough to watch the kids for us while we went out on the town. We went to dinner and then to a show. This is what we saw:

Yes, it isn't the normal "Date Night" type of thing, but it was an amazing experience. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, in spite of waiting over an hour just to get in.
There were quotes posted all throughout the exhibit about the body and what an amazing "machine" a body is, but my favorite was:

The heart is the organ formed first, and stops working last.

What a blessing the body is, despite the trouble it may give us from time to time. It is truly a miraculous miracle from God.

Everything I Need to Know...

My kids taught me at the park!
1. Cooperation is good, but a little competition can bring out the best efforts of even the littlest racer. There was a triple wide slide at the park that my kids used to race against each other. Surprisingly, Adrienne was usually the winner.
2. It is important to impress yourself once in a while. Annika climbed to the top of a "rope web" and was quite impressed with herself, and made sure the 12 year old boys climbing up after her got to hear about it.
3. A mom and a dad are both needed. Moms make sure that kids don't do anything that will hurt them. Dads make sure they do. A balance needs to be achieved for kids to experience the best life has to offer.
4. Parents need to know when to let go. Adrienne was trying to climb a ladder to get up to the slide. I was "helping" her to make sure she didn't fall. She kept telling me, "I can do it, mom!". I just kept helping until she finally got mad and told me to let go. When I did, she was able to climb it even better than she could when I was holding on. Letting go brought out the best in her.