A Series of Unfortunate Events, or It's Hard To Be A Girl

As a caution, if you have a weak stomach, or cannot find humor in bodily functions, please stop now....
"We" decided that we would go for a little ride up the canyon for a really great hike last Saturday afternoon. The weather was beautiful so we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to be outside. There was beauty all around...

Lots of opportunities for throwing rocks into the water...
But as is usually the case when you throw children (and husbands) into the mix, things do not go as planned.
Intitally, we were supposed to go up to a trailhead that would start us on a wonderful hike to the top of the mountain that we see every morning from our house.

We had driven about an hour on a dirt road to get there, getting higher and higher up the side of the mountain, when we encountered snow. Burke was confident in his new truck's ability to get past it, and put it into four wheel drive.
We slid.
Then he got out and locked the hubs and tried again. We slid again, this time accomanied by screaming all around.
Then we had a little discussion about how sliding off a cliff is not in the best interest of his family. Or his truck.
He acquiesced and we did some driving gymnastics to turn around and find another hike that wouldn't be so dangerous.

Little did we know what lay ahead...

We found a little lake with what appeared to be trails around it. We pulled off and decided to make the best of the situation.
We had been hiking for about 10 minutes when the kids all declared they were starving to death. I couldn't believe the dead moose we found didn't kill their appetites.
We stopped to give them a snack and let Burke play with his range finder and binoculars and relive his deer hunt. While we were checking out the lay of the land through the binoculars, Annika wandered off. I looked over my shoulder to see if I could find her, and noticed her standing off in some bushes.
Thinking that was strange, I asked her what she was doing. She told me she was using the bathroom.
Only I noticed that she didn't seem to be squatting. I asked her if she needed help, and she told me she had just finished.
As she got redressed, and rejoined the group, I saw a giant wet spot on the leg of her jeans. When I asked her what it was (hoping against hope I wasn't right), her answer was, "It just isn't fair that the boys can just stand up and go wherever they want."
Yep.
And it wasn't fair that she was the butt of jokes for the next 15 minutes (but it was pretty funny).

We decided to press on, following Burke into more and more snow.
Finally, the trail was gone and we were proceeding down the side of a hill falling and sliding in the cold wet muddy snow as Burke strolled on a quarter-mile ahead.
I rebelled and told Burke what I thought about his wilderness guide abilities.
Then we turned and headed back, while Burke stubbornly led himself on a wonderful-- yet short-- hike.
The kids and I found some great rocks and spent some time throwing them in the water, until Annika told me she needed some help to finish the aforementioned job.
When she had previously felt the warmth seeping down her leg, she decided to cut it off, but still needed to answer the call of nature.
As I explained to her, every woman must learn the best and easiest way to take care of business. I took care to stay out of her way.
At this point, Adrienne decided she needed in on the action. I explained and helped, until she told me she needed to go #2. (Sorry about the graphic nature, but I tell it like it is.)
I don't even like #2 at home, so Burke got to step in at this point. He helped her, cleaned her up, and got his pack back on (the awesome Eagle Scout was even prepared with toilet paper!)
Unfortunately, after the job was done, he didn't watch where she was stepping and neither did she.
Yep.
It was ugly.
Blech.
Burke laughed.
Then I did. What else can you do?

The shoe came off and went in the lake for a good washing.
Then we decided we had had enough fun and headed back to the truck.

That is when Adrienne found her "very useful walking stick". It was helpful until she tripped over it, landed on it with her mouth, and came up with a mouthful of blood and a very loose front tooth that was previously not loose at all.

Needless to say, it was a very somber, very smelly ride home.

Halloween, At Last

Yes, I know I am finally getting around to posting the Halloween fun, but it is worth the wait.

Right?

Nathan, after much consternation about Kohl's not sending his much needed accessory, was a Doctor for the school Halloween party (we improvised using the scrubs I work for work when I was pregnant with him, with some tailoring, of course).
Annika borrowed a costume from her friend again because of Kohl's late shipment (not my fault, I proclaimed as I clicked purchase on October 21). Annika was very cute as an Asian princess, or as Mulan, whichever she decided was more glamorous.

Kade was a mummy. Which I sewed. With lots of cheesecloth bits flying up my nose as I did it.

Adrienne was a cute little red witch.

Once the Kohl's shipment came (the day after the school parties) Nathan was Albert Einstein and Annika was still the neighbor's Asian girl costume because I got the wrong size. In my own defense, I ordered the size it said was for kids 8-10 years old. When it came, I said 8-10 years old= size 12-14. GRRR. Oh well, maybe she can wear it in 3-4 years.

I had the opportunity to plan the parties for the 2nd grade and for Kade's class in third grade. It was very stressful for me, but we got it done, and the craft and the games turned out to be lots of fun. Adrienne got to come and hang out in the second grade and the third grade parties, so she thought she was pretty awesome.


The weekend of Halloween, we headed up to the library for their annual party which is usually pretty fun, especially for the younger kids.
Nathan won the costume contest for the "Smartest" costume and was able to pick out a book.

Kade won too for the all around best costume! It validated all of the tacking of cheesecloth that took many more hours than I thought it would.

After the library party, the boys went trick or treating with their friends, and the girls got to go with their dad until a friend's mom picked them up and took them out for a little while.
They were soooo excited and felt like they were big like their brothers to be out without mom or dad.
Adrienne got separated from the group though, because the house they went to didn't give her candy fast enough and the other kids left her. She was a little upset at that, but seemed fine once she sat down to munch on her candy.

Burke and I were home alone on Halloween night.
He got to fulfill his fondest wish (next to getting his truck).
He wore a horrendous mask and scared the bigger kids who came to the door.
His chuckles and comments of "They screamed like little girls!" Were pretty funny.
Love that guy!

Oh, the Places We'll Go

We finally did it.

We finally got "THE TRUCK".

Many of you may not know the full import of this.

Many others do.

And if you do, you will rejoice with Burke.

He finally has his truck after all these years.

Now our lives can really start.

According to him.

Now we can really have fun.

Now we can bond.

Now we can go to cool places.

Now we can get all of those projects around the house finished.

Now we can get the Republicans in the White House and therefore save the world.

Maybe he didn't go quite that far, but it is pretty close.

Burke is very excited. His truck is very big, I feel like I am driving a big rig when I take it places. But I am getting used to it.

We currently have 5 vehicles at our home (6 if you count his motorcycle). Three of them are running, and one needs to be sold. But I have some hoarding issues with vehicles, and I find myself having a hard time parting with the one that gave me my sanity in Michigan.

But it needs to go.

Because his new truck is really big (I call it "jugly". It is a nice combination of jacked-up and ugly).

And I just realized I didn't take a picture of it for my post.

Another day.

It has been offically broken in by our family, however.

Literally.

We went up to my parent's cabin for the weekend. Nathan, trying to be helpful, locked all the doors because the little kids were playing in it.

Unfortunately, the keys were also inside.

After some yelling and threats of making Nathan walk home to get the spare set of keys, Burke and I broke in and unlocked the doors.

We all learned a valuable lesson: Nathan inherited the locking out gene from his dad.